The Midnight Waffle Run
by crematosis
Summary: L is out of frozen waffles so he drags Light to the store at midnight to buy some more. Once there, Light is shocked by L's unlimited budget and unlimited sweet tooth. LightxL


Light liked to sleep

A/N: I work in a grocery store. Shut up, it's a good job. Anyway, since I work in the grocery store and since I'm such a nerd, I always wander down the aisles thinking, 'Wow, if L were here, he'd definitely buy this." I went to a shopping website and loaded up a virtual cart with a bunch of things I thought L might buy and ended up with a huge bill. It takes a lot of money to feed L's sweet tooth.

Disclaimer: No chocolate bars were harmed in the making of this story. Err…I mean, L and Light didn't harm any chocolate bars. I certainly did. But L and Light don't belong to me, so I can't make them harm the chocolate.

Light liked to sleep. Unfortunately, his lover, the great detective L, considered sleeping a waste of time. L was both a night owl and an early bird. Sometimes, it seemed as if he never slept at all. It was a very rare night when L decided to call it quits before midnight. Tonight was not going to be one of those nights.

"Raito-kun," L said sadly. "I believe we are out of frozen waffles."

"What a pity,' Light muttered. "But you don't need to eat waffles right now anyway. It's eleven at night."

"But I would like some for breakfast tomorrow."

"Okay, fine. I'll swing by the store tomorrow morning."

L frowned at him. "You don't get up until 6 am. I get up at 4. How am I supposed to eat my breakfast if you are not yet awake?"

Light groaned. 'Could you have something else for one day? I can't believe you didn't let me know earlier. I could have stopped by the store after school."

L shrugged. "We can remedy that now."

'What? You want to go grocery shopping at this time of night? You've got to be fucking kidding me."

"I assure you, I am not kidding. Stores will still be open at this hour."

"But not for long. If all you need is waffles, maybe we can get in and get out. But I know you'll be distracted by frosting and cupcakes and we'll never get out of there."

L scowled. "I take offense to that remark. I do not get distracted. If I notice something else that I might need, is it not logical to purchase it at the same time as my waffles?"

"Okay, fine," Light muttered. "We'll go to the store. And since you insist on dragging me out now, I'll pick up everything I was going to pick up in the morning. That way I can sleep in."

L sniffed disdainfully. "Very well, Raito-kun. Would you like to drive?"

"Of course I'm driving," Light said quickly. "You don't have a license, remember?"

L pouted. "I have a fake license."

"That doesn't count. Come on, grab your wallet and your shopping list or whatever and let's go. I don't like being out all night. I want to get back and get to sleep."

L sighed in exasperation and followed Light out the door.

Inside the store, L and Light slowly meandered through the aisles. Light wanted to get things done quickly. He had only a few things he wanted to buy, so he grabbed a small red basket and put his items into it neatly.

L, on the other hand, insisted on traveling down every aisle in case he saw something he liked. Anything sugary, sweet, or remotely candy-like was tossed carelessly into his cart. The cart was soon almost filled with sweets. Light pretended he didn't see.

There were only two other shoppers in the entire store: a harried man searching for infant formula and an elderly woman slowly ambling through the produce section. There was only one check stand open and the cashier looked rather bored. Luckily, L and Light would be bringing her plenty of business.

Light put his basket down on the conveyor belt first and calmly pulled his wallet out of his back pocket. Light had purchased only ten things, various items, such as a loaf of bread and milk, which would get him through the rest of the week.

Light's groceries came to a grand total of 36.47, which wasn't too bad considering. Light handed the cashier two twenties and then gathered up his two bags of groceries.

Then the cashier began ringing up L's order. The only problem was, in the few minutes it had taken to ring up Light's order, L had only managed to lift three things out of his cart. The cashier rang up the items and then stared at L while he gingerly lifted a canister of whipped cream out of the cart.

"Oh, for god's sake, Ryuuzaki," Light growled. "It's not porcelain. Just pick it up and put it down. Don't take forever."

L stared at the whipped cream forlornly and delicately placed it on the conveyor belt. The cashier rang that through and then waited again.

"This has to stop," Light declared. "Hold these." He thrust his bag at L and then began briskly unloading L's cart.

L awkwardly accepted the two bags, holding them each on a crooked finger, one on each hand. L held his arms out as though it might hurt the bags to touch each other and then regarded first one bag and then the other solemnly.

The cashier stared incredulously at the whole charade as she scanned the rest of L's items. As she announced L's total, L handed the bags back to Light and fumbled around in his pocket for a few crumpled bills. He presented them delicately to the cashier. She handed him back his change and stared shamelessly as the pair walked out the door.

As soon as they were outside, L folded up his receipt and attempted to stuff it in his pockets. Light snatched it away from him. "You spent 500 dollars?" Light demanded.

"547.22, I believe," L murmured.

"Jesus Christ," Light muttered. "You managed to fit 500 dollars worth of groceries into one cart?"

"It's a talent," L said modestly.

"Yeah, some talent. What the hell did you buy?" Light leaned over and began rifling through some of L's bags. "Cheesecake? Gourmet coffee? Damn, this stuff is expensive."

L shrugged. "One pays the price for quality."

"Quality my ass. Did you really pay all this money for junk food?"

"It's not junk food," L said indignantly. He parked his cart near the car and gestured of Light to unlock the door. "It is silly to argue in a dark parking lot in the middle of the night."

"Right," Light grumbled. He unlocked the car and unceremoniously started dumping L's groceries in the back seat.

"Please do not crush my cookies," L murmured half-heartedly.

Light finished unloading L's cart and pushed it to the cart corral. L climbed into the passenger's seat silently and waited for Light's return.

"I still can't believe you spent that much money on food. How long will that last you anyway?"

"A week, perhaps," L murmured.

"A week?! Just a week? Jesus, Ryuuzaki. Thank god we aren't married."

L blinked in surprise. "What does marriage have to do with this?"

"If we're married, we'd have to share income and expenses. And I for one am not paying for your expensive junk food habit."

"I told you it's not all junk food," L said stiffly. "I bought milk."

"Chocolate milk, right?"

"Chocolate milk and strawberry flavored milk as well. I like a variety."

"Good lord,' Light muttered. "Any fruits or vegetables?"

"Strawberries, of course. I bought twenty pounds worth."

"Twenty pounds of strawberries, huh? How do you plan on eating all of them in a week?"

'Well, I plan on putting some atop my waffles, some atop my ice cream, and some dipped in chocolate."

"Chocolate milk and chocolate covered strawberries are the healthiest things you eat? Jesus Christ, it's a wonder you aren't obese by now."

"I have a fast metabolism."

"I'll say. Most people would envy how you eat so much sugar and never gain a pound. And how your teeth don't rot right out of your mouth."

"Raito-kun is terribly pessimistic. I am neither fat nor are my teeth rotten. I do not have bad breath either. I am perfectly healthy."

"You're a fucking wraith," Light growled. "You weigh next to nothing, you're as pale as death, and you barely sleep. Do you call that healthy?"

"I call it being productive. I have little need for sleep when I have my caffeine and my sugar. Now, please refrain from speeding, Raito-kun. When you lose your temper, you tend to accelerate irresponsibly."

"I just want to get home and get to bed," Light muttered. "It's almost midnight."

"Ah, here's our turn. Almost back to the hotel. Then Raito-kun can help me carry our groceries in."

"Jesus, I'll never get to sleep, will I?"

"Yes, you will. Be patient, Ratio-kun. Don't you enjoy accompanying me?"

"I do, but not when it cuts into my sleep time."

L pouted. "Some boyfriend you are. You prefer sleeping to me."

Light made a right turn onto the hotel's street.

L gripped onto the car door with the tips of his fingers. "Slow down, Raito-kun. You're going to get us killed."

"No, you don't need my help to kill yourself. All those clogged arteries will do it for me."

"I want to live long enough to die of an overdose of sweets! Desist from speeding at once!!"

"Scared, Ryuuzaki?"

"No, merely queasy. Please drive normally so I'll still have an appetite by the time we get back to our hotel room."

"You and your sugar. Do you honestly like food more than me?"

"No, but sex is always better when you use chocolate syrup."

Light groaned and stopped the car in front of the hotel. "I give up. You're hopeless. Good-night, Ryuuzaki. I'm going to bed. Feel free to stuff your face if you want."

"On the contrary, Raito-kun. I am coming to bed with you. And I'm bringing my whipped cream and chocolate sauce with me."

Light looked worried. "You wouldn't. You're not that kinky."

"Wouldn't what? I plan to eat it. I don't know what you are assuming. Get your mind out of the gutter, Raito-kun. Good-night."

And thus, Light spent another sleepless night.


End file.
